Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
