You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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