i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
