sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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