Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
