i was born a porn star she said
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
