I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
