i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
