she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize