i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
