I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
