Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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