new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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