I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Green mimosas i think yes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
