remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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