there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
