All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
