just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
