So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
