me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
