I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
