I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
