We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
