I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Randomize
