forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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