Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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