im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
