I'm really into asian looking animals
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i already hear my dad disowning me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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