none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
