Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize