Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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