Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
