We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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