I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
