um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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