NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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