how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
