____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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