guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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