Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize