i just had sex bonerless
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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