Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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