Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
