Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
