He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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