i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
