one two three fourrrrnication!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
there is puke in my bra ... again
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