There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
