Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
