Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
