Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
