god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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