For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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