Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
