just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize