Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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