all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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