Duck Duck Cougar?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
