There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
