so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sorry about my life...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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