OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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