where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
