Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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